Saturday, April 10, 2010

You Don't Need to Read This Book to Mingle


The book of the week was The Art of Mingling by Jeanne Martinet. I had a first this week... the book I read for this blog was awful. Each page I read made me a little less smart and more and more perturbed. I will explain this very quickly because I feel the need to guard you from prolonged exposure to this book (You may need sunscreen if you decide to read the whole book to avoid getting burned.)

In summation, this book is misleading. I read it under the assumption that it was geared toward helping people master communication within social settings. I felt that if I could grab some good tidbits from this book I could use them to help me (and you) professionally. However, I would put this book in the same category as a Nora Robert's novel or a Lifetime Original Movie. I don't have any problem with Nora or the Lifetime channel, but both have little to add toward a professional repertoire and neither does this book. The book had two main philosophies I disagree with as a business person: Lying and Flattery.

I do not think that lying is ever a good thing. I think integrity is the most important part of being a good business person today. All too often you hear about the Bernie Madoffs and Ted Stevens... and even telling little lies is no way to make it in business. The book says it's a good way to open up communication when you don't know someone or a good way to "get out of talking to someone." Why would you want to have a new relationship that was founded off the basis of a lie? Doesn't make much sense. The whole concept sounds very juvenile...

And flattery... Flattery is basically using lies to compliment someone. Dale Carnegie is a big advocate of avoiding flattery and I am most definitely on his side. If you want to compliment someone because you genuinely like something about them, then I would say go for it. But, if your compliment is insincere and you are using it as a fabled leverage to create a new acquaintance, think twice... we all graduated high school a long time ago...

Many parts of the book were written for a female reader, although the author tries (and fails) to make it for both sexes. If I went up into a crowd of people and say "Excuse me, no one had informed me we had become intimate" (and giggle)... I would probably be shunned. Or... "You look bored, so bored you must be smart, are you smart?"... I'm embarrassed for anyone that would say that.

Here is my tip on mingling with new people... Be sincere with what you say, ask them questions, and be friendly...

Don't buy this book..  I am willing to give away my copy if anyone wants it. And I'll jot a note down to myself, not to trust all the recommendations Amazon.com gives me. If you have any questions on the book don't hesitate to ask. I would be more than happy to help anyone that wants it.

2 comments:

  1. I appreciate your honesty about this book. How interesting that this was a recommended read by Amazon.com. That makes me think twice about my recommendations from them as well. Good reminder that we should really research everything ourselves, not just do something or read something just because it came recommended by someone or something that we like or find useful. Glad I came across your blog from reading a U.S. News & World Report article online! The article was "10 Personal Finance Tools You Should Use Now," by Kimberly Palmer.

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  2. Thank you for your comment and your readership. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with along the way!

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